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Top 10 signs Santa Doesn't Like Your Kid
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10.
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Kid's letter to North Pole comes back stamped, "Dream on, Chester!" |
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9.
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Kid asks for new bike, gets pack of smokes |
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8.
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Along with presents, Santa leaves hefty bill for shipping and handling |
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7.
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By the time he gets to your house, all he has left are styrofoam peanuts |
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6.
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Christmas day, your kid wakes up with a reindeer head in his bed |
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5.
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Instead of "naughty" or "nice," Santa has him on the "dork" list |
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4.
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Sends him off on one of them Carnival cruises with Kathie Lee |
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3.
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First words when kid gets on his lap are, "Touch my beard and I'll put the hurt on you!" |
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2.
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Labels on all your kid's toys read "Straight from Craptown" |
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1.
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Four words: "Off my lap, Tubby!" |
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