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 Amusing Injury Excuses Some people tend to cover up the truth when they show up in public with a black eye, broken arm or using crutches, and then try to explain what happened. Elaborate stories are concocted, but nearly every time the truth comes out, sometimes quite soon, sometimes years later. TRUE STORY #1: There was this young couple who had a terrific argument one morning before leaving for work. The wife couldn't get her dress zipped up in back, so she backed up to her husband and motioned for him to zip up her zipper. "I'll show you zipping", he thought, and briskly whipped it up and down the slide till it broke. He had to cut her out of her favorite dress, which didn't make her happier with him. They went their separate ways to work, both boiling mad at each other. The wife did a slow burn all day. When she got home that evening, she walked through the garage and saw her husband under the car fixing something, with only his legs sticking out. She decided her moment of REVENGE had come. She leaned over, grabbed his pants zipper, and whipped it up and down. Quite contented, she walked into the kitchen, where she found her husband standing by the sink. Sheepishly, she asked him, "Who is in the garage, under the car?" She was told it was a neighbor who had come over to help work on the car. The acutely embarrassed wife asked her husband to help explain the situation to the neighbor, and they both returned to the garage. They asked him to come out from under the car, but he didn't respond. When they finally dragged him out, he was unconscious and bleeding, from slamming his head into the underside of the car each time he got zipped by surprise!! 
TRUE STORY #2: Our story is not complete without telling of a man who could not give a convincing explanation about his broken arm. He kept muttering something about trying to stick his arm through his car window that he thought was down. That was the public version, in private, he confessed that it happened when his wife brought some potted plants indoors after they had been out on the patio all day. A friendly garter snake had hidden in one of the pots, and later slithered out across the floor, and the wife spotted it. "I was in the bathtub when I heard her scream," he related. "I thought she was being murdered, so I jumped out of the tub, and ran to help her. I didn't even grab a towel. When I ran into the living room, she yelled that a snake was under the couch. I got down on all fours to look for it, and just then my dog came up from behind and 'cold-nosed' me. I guess I thought it was the snake, and I fainted dead away. "My wife thought I'd had a heart-attack and called for an ambulance. I was still groggy when the medics arrived, and lifted me onto a stretcher. Just as they were carrying me out, the snake came out from under the couch, and obviously frightened one of the medics. He dropped his end of the stretcher.....and that is when I broke my arm." |
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